


when you find him

by isleofapplepies



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Gen, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-09 07:54:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4340219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isleofapplepies/pseuds/isleofapplepies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the 21st century Merlin and Morgana are friends again, and if they found each other in the future then surely Arthur's return is just behind the corner, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	when you find him

“Merlin.”  
  
“Hm?”  
  
The cold blue and white glare of the TV screen clings to Morgana’s skin like a fine film, painting her in eerie ghostly shades. Her eyes are narrowed under the pretence of paying close attention to the late night movie they picked but not even her eyelashes can disguise the absent-minded shine of her eyes. Merlin’s head is heavy where it rests on the crook of his elbow, heavy and fuzzy, but when he takes a look at Morgana huddled in a blanket on the other side of the couch he can see her eyes glistening in the dark, alert and terribly distant at the same time. “What is it?” he mumbles.  
  
“You’re gonna have to leave, Merlin,” Morgana says in a whisper. The subdued hush of the television almost drowns out her words. Merlin blinks a few times, slowly pushing himself up into a sitting position. “When you find him,” Morgana adds. “I—I cannot have the two of you near me. Not together.”  
  
The sluggishness of his brain does not dissipate, but Merlin feels a spike of panic pierce though his sleepy thoughts. “What— are you talking about—“  
  
“You and Arthur, yes.” She turns her head to give him a hard glance. “I’m warning you in advance.”  
  
Merlin watches her and feels his face contort into a particularly dim-witted expression as he replays all that was just said. His mind feels slow, like trudging through a pool of oatmeal. Merlin raises a hand to rub at the back of his head, sorting Morgana’s statements into categories such as “ _deal with immediately_ ” and “ _obsess over later_ ”. It requires a particular strength of will to force a “you said _when_ , not _if_ ” thought into the second category but somehow Merlin manages.

“Why?” he asks, tucking his legs under him. His own voice sounds small and lost to him. “I thought this was working.” A little hand wave at the room attempts to encompass their living arrangement, the weird (and admittedly unhealthy) co-dependent relationship they developed over the last decade.  
  
Morgana utters a small choked laugh and smiles, her gaze darting down to her hands. “It is.”  
  
“So what’s the problem?” Merlin’s eyebrows twitch upwards and a rush of heat colours his face. “Oh. Oh, if you’re worried about that, you don’t have to—um—we won’t be—I know the flat is small. We won’t— That is, considering Arthur would even—” He stops himself there, pressing his lips together in a half embarrassed, half-amused smile.  
  
“That’s not what I was talking but I’m glad to know it’s where your brain went,” Morgana says with an amused eye-roll.  
  
Merlin replies with a shrug and a cheeky grin.  
  
Morgana’s fingers twist in her hair, dark locks snaking between her fingers and coiling around her wrist. “No, that’s not it,” she says quietly. “You should be happy.” There is a sense of fierce conviction to her words, like she’s arguing with someone tucked into a distant corner of her mind. A Morgana she used to be.  
  
“So what is it about?” Merlin prompts her softly.  
  
Morgana shakes her head and doesn’t say anything. The film is coming to an end. Merlin hasn’t been paying attention to it for the past half hour and a cursory glance at the screen only reinforces the feeling of disconnect from what’s happening in the living room. He’s lost. It’s an abrupt shift in their too fragile dynamics and suddenly Merlin is not wanted here.  
  
When he doesn’t expect her to anymore, Morgana speaks again. “It would be too much,” she explains, voice firm but distant. She isn’t looking at him. “It would be too much like before.” She doesn’t say anything more but she doesn’t need to. Merlin understands.  
  
Too much like the Camelot she grew to loathe.  
  
Merlin hates the idea of leaving Morgana. Of not having her close every day of his new life.  
  
But the thought of hurting Morgana with reminders of their old life, he hates that more.  
  
One hand reaches across the empty expanse of couch between them and brushes Morgana’s shoulder gently. “Okay,” Merlin says with a smile. He keeps his hand on Morgana’s shoulder and tugs a little, and then again, until she’s convinced to topple over and rest her head against his thigh, her legs tangled in the blanket. “Okay,” Merlin repeats as he lifts his hand to run his fingers through Morgana’s hair. “But you’ll be the one packing my suitcase. If that ever happens.”  
  
A small laugh escapes her lips as she snuggles against him and her eyes close. “Cute how you think I won’t just kick you out and burn all your shit.”  
  
Merlin gives a sleepy shrug and reaches for the remote as the final credits begin to roll. “Wouldn’t be a problem. I’m used to travelling light.”


End file.
